HaPPY FamiLY
Today is Friday 10/07/09, I supposed to be very happy!!But I felt very sad, my heart is so heavy....I felt like crying out so hard!Last Tuesday 07/07/09, mummy called me up and have normal conversation. In the mid of conversation, when I asked her some thing, but she just kept silent for awhile, from there onwards I know something wrong with her, she is very sad which she doesn't want to share out, I keep asking her, she just reply 'nothing'. Sigh, all her worries always keep in her heart, I scared one day she can't take it anymore, I really wish to share all her sadness & happiness with her. Last month, I went back on 06/06/09 for wedding dinner, noticed that family member has changed, everyone keep busy on their laptop - playing games!What the hell is it??The world has changed, my family member that used to cheering out all this while become games addictor!!! I know mummy & dad are very sad seeing their changes, why can't they help out in the family?? We used to be happy family, I am very sad & being so irritated seeing them keep on addicted to play online game!!!What has gone wrong??
I am being so useless...I really stuck in the middle, at times really don't dare to think of it as well, coz I don't know how to make a concrete decision to make everyone around me to be happy. Should I continue to stay in KL / Penang?I know my mummy always wanted me to go back so much which I always wish to....But......I feel so helpless!!!!I am confused!! I love her very much & care for her, I wanted to accompany her for the walk of her life..!I am blaming myself if I know she is sick and I just cant do anything!Everyone seems not to understand how I feel, just know how to blame on me why I don't want to come back. Am I choosing the right path to walk my life with ?I try my very best to go back as often as I can, so that I know what's happening in my family, spend a little more time with them~~This is the thing that I wanted to do so much in my life, at times I even cry hardly out of sudden because of missing them so much. I can't help myself of not seeing them even in two months time ,because I don't want to bear with ' regret' in my mind!
I am being so useless...I really stuck in the middle, at times really don't dare to think of it as well, coz I don't know how to make a concrete decision to make everyone around me to be happy. Should I continue to stay in KL / Penang?I know my mummy always wanted me to go back so much which I always wish to....But......I feel so helpless!!!!I am confused!! I love her very much & care for her, I wanted to accompany her for the walk of her life..!I am blaming myself if I know she is sick and I just cant do anything!Everyone seems not to understand how I feel, just know how to blame on me why I don't want to come back. Am I choosing the right path to walk my life with ?I try my very best to go back as often as I can, so that I know what's happening in my family, spend a little more time with them~~This is the thing that I wanted to do so much in my life, at times I even cry hardly out of sudden because of missing them so much. I can't help myself of not seeing them even in two months time ,because I don't want to bear with ' regret' in my mind!
GOD, guess only YOU know how I feel, my confusion never been fade away since I was here. My the only wish is to make both of them happy, spend my life with them, I don't want to miss any chances which can make me spend 'a little more times' on them, I wanna love & care for them as much as I could...Mummy & dad, no matter what I willing to do whatever I can to make you all happy, but I am so sorry, because I can't say I will be always at your side, this is the most regret thing that I might have done~~~How I wish to tell you that!
You are my beloved mum & dad, the most happiest thing that I have in my life!!!Your smile is the sunshine to my whole life~~I love YOu, mummy & dad ^-^


Stay strong my friend! Tomorrow will be a better day!~
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